Hoping to create my life and home to the best of my perfectionistic (so not a word but I like it) style.

A Purpose?

Ya know, I wish I had some purpose in life. I go on day to day doing random stuff and I feel as if it really doesn't matter. Sometimes I sit on my ass and do nothing. Unfortunately I am one of many that suffer from depression. I know I have things to do but I just can't bring myself to do anything. Like right now I'm feeling a little worthless. This is so hard to deal with but I've been dealing with it for years. So, life goes on. 
One bright thing that happened last night is my hubby bought my ticket to Connecticut so I can visit with my bestie. I'm sure I've talked about her. I've had best friends before but no one is like Paula. It's funny cuz she's a girly girl and I'm not. She has tried to make me a girly girl and has won to an extent. I'm now addicted to handbags (Dooney & Bourke is my fave) and shoes. I've become addicted to boots (love Steve Madden). This is all so funny to me because just 10 years ago, before I moved to the city (I lived in hicksville central), I knew nothing of this. I never carried a purse. The only thing I carried with me was my drivers license and some cash. The only time I carried anything that resembled a purse was when my boys were in diapers and I had to carry a diaper bag. The only shoe that I knew was a sneaker. I wore Reeboks. But anyway, I love her and I miss her sooooo much. I know I'm repeating myself just like Dr. Oz, for some reason he's a re-run. Who knows....

So, as I was saying, do I really have a purpose? I take care of my many animals. I don't know if they're the only ones that really need me. My hubby needs me every third day to get him up in the morning so he can go to work. He needs me to make his iced tea cuz he can't make it taste as good as I can. Yeah right, he just doesn't want to get up and get it himself. Then I have my 20 year old son. I bawled my eyes out when he turned 18. It's funny cuz I didn't do that when my oldest (he's 26) turned 18. My "baby" still hugs me and tells me he loves me. My oldest does that when he visits. I don't know why I'm so attached to him. Maybe it is because he's the "baby". Shit, I don't know. 

I gotta get dressed. TTFN!! XOXOXO


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